In the past, I’ve never been very big on using calendars, because I’ve always found the most reliable, accurate, up-to-date schedule was the one in my head. That opinion hasn’t changed much over time, but currently, I find myself using my Google Calendar to calibrate with the calendars that don’t reside in my head.

I share my schedule with my friends and keep track of all of their schedules, too. I check it almost religiously, largely for the same reasons I am addicted to Twitter: I just like to know what everybody is up to. I no longer live in the same city as the majority of my friends, so It’s important to me to retain a connection to their day-to-day lives. Having access to their calendars helps me do that.

Yesterday evening, I asked John Erik Metcalf to remind me to book my plane tickets to Austin for the upcoming holiday weekend. When I was absentmindedly perusing my schedule for the day, a 2PM appointment on John’s calendar caught my attention:

MELISSA IS GOING TO BOOK HER TRIP. RIGHT MELISSA?

The novelty of this got me thinking about way I use my Google Calendar and why.

I began using calendars for the first time in my life when my best friend Meredith began her first year of law school last fall. She simultaneously works full-time at a law firm, so as you can imagine, getting a hold of her became quite challenging. In order to streamline the process of finding time when we were both free to talk, she shared her Google Calendar with me.

Meredith’s calendar tells me when her law school classes are, when she has a massive research project due, and when her final exams are happening. A quick glance helps me decide when I should call her to catch up.

Most importantly, a shared calendar lets me pencil myself in. When I see that she’s got a rare block of free time, I might schedule some time for us to talk on the phone for an hour or two.

Funny enough, her boyfriend started doing the same thing as me. Instead of wasting her precious study or sleep time by verbally discussing date details, he goes straight to her calendar, finds some mutually free time, and proposes dinner or coffee or a movie.

Disclaimer: If you didn’t already know, I’m a huge geek. It should come as no surprise that I think it’s positively adorable when he asks her out on a date via Google Calendar. And so does Meredith. She is gleeful when she wakes up in the the morning and finds an invite for definite, definitive plans waiting in her inbox.

But beyond coordination, sharing your calendar has other interesting advantages in personal relationships. For one, it has the potential to change the “Hey honey, how was your day?” “Oh, you know, fine.” conversation at the end of the day, which is a ritual that often becomes empty and meaningless after enough time is spent with another person.

Why is that? Well, broad, open-ended questions can seem tiresome and intrusive after a long, trying day. But if I looked at your calendar and saw that you gave a presentation to your most important client, I could ask you specifically about that. That was one small part of your day, sure, but somehow, the level of specificity makes it easier to grapple with. And it effectively opens the door of communication, making it more likely for you to go on to describe the rest of your day in its entirety, too.

The bottom line is, technology is not only changing where our relationships begin, but also impacting the nature of the relationships we have with other people, whether they be romantic, friendship, or business-oriented.